3-23-18 thru 3-26-18 Cork Road

3-23-18

This morning, I was praying and I told the Lord that I would go to 7 yrs old with him. Remembering what he said last night about growing up in him, I told him “yes I will go to 7 yrs old with you.”

Tonight, at 7:57p.m., I realized that God, Jesus, loves me. I was talking to Jesus while driving to the airport to pick up a friend of mine, about how I was 7 now. And how hard it was for him to get me from 5 yrs old to 6. I didn’t want to do it. I argued a little, questioned, but then I went to six.

This morning in my prayer time, I felt to go to 7. I was asking Jesus why. He said because I’m more comfortable now. It’s not so fearsome for me. Which means there was a lot of drama for me at 6 yrs old. It means that a lot of that, or all of it, is healed. And Jesus said that 7 means that’s when you’re growing up.

I realized Jesus loves me, that God loves me. When I realized that, I also realized that Jesus is real. God is real. He’s not some figment of my imagination, which I would think sometimes when I wasn’t sure of myself or what I was hearing.  [What a mind trick Satan plays with that one]

He’s not some voice that I think I hear in my head – but I don’t, really. He’s not some thing. He is God and he is Jesus and he is real. He is real.

Jesus and I spent an awfully long time at 6 years old and I learned a lot.

And now I’m seven. I was asking the Lord about that, because it wasn’t official until he and I got together in one of our sessions. He taught me something last night and I need to go back and read it. That it was easy to go from 6 years old to 7 years old because the 6 yo is healed and the little ones are no longer afraid, because Jesus has healed them.

HUGE HUGE revelation!

God is real. He loves me. I hear him.

Lord, I know I have struggled for so long, struggled to believe. Struggled to believe in you, struggled to believe I was hearing you. I have struggled to have faith enough to soar, I have struggled. You know how I have struggled. But it wasn’t in my adult side. It was in my child side. I did not know that. But you knew. And you have healed my wounded parts. You have made them whole. And because you have healed the 6 yo, the 5 yo, 4 yo, 3 yo, 2 yo, 1 yo and baby, I know now all my parts, all my parts, all the little nooks and crannies of my spirit, of my soul, we ALL know now, that you are real.

We know that you love me. We do not feel fragmented anymore. We do not feel separate anymore. We feel that we are many in one person and that person is becoming whole. Jesus, I praise you. It is only because of you. It is only because you have been my father and my mother. It is only because you have been telling me these stories and healing me and taking time with me. Oh! How much you love me. To take the time, to sit with me and do this with me and heal me, even though I didn’t know what you were doing. You are healing me even without speaking of things. Father thank you! Thank you.

The adult me knew you were real, knows you are real. But the little ones did not.

Jesus? I want to do fun things with you. I want to fly with you and soar like you keep saying. I want to have gems come to me and gold dust and oil and feathers. I want all the supernatural things of you to show up in my life and come to me. I ask you to release them to me now, or one now and the rest whenever – soon. I want to have fun with you. I want…I want the supernatural things with you, I ask in Jesus name.

I feel like NOW, NOW I will be moving into the supernatural.

You love me. You love me. You will give me good gifts because You love me.

All these years, all the deliverance, all the healing, all the struggle, all the trying so hard, all this driving, all the reading, all the conferences and the seminars. It has all come to this, right here. That I know that you are real and you love me. I feel that my life is going to change. For the better of course. I feel like things are going to start happening now. Things in the spirit and the spiritual world.

That no longer will I be striving to be a Christian. To do the right thing. That I will just be a person that is a Christian.

Behold, All Things become new.

3.24.18 I know what love is

I am 64 years old. This is 2018. I have been born again since 1979. I have struggled for years to know that God loves me.

In 2002 I got a breakthrough that he loved me.

Then again in 2015 I got a breakthrough that God is my father.

Then in 2016 I got the breakthrough that I have a father who loves me.

Now in  March 24, 2018 I know he is MY Father that loves me. Instead of praying the prayer “I believe you love me very much”. Now I say “I know you love me”. Last night on the way to the airport, I got the breakthrough that Jesus/God loves me. He has taken this time to love on me and to teach me and to talk to me. He says to me – “you have taken the time to sit with me long enough every day to be healed”. I understand what he says, but the big thing to me, is that he has taken the time with me. He was waiting for me, when I thought I was waiting for him.

All my life, most of the people I’ve been around haven’t listened to me. Not all of course, but my parents did not listen to me, nor have my exes.

So having the Lord and knowing he has taken all this time and all this effort, to tell me this story and in the telling, teach me lessons and heal me emotionally and teach me, how to be a girl-person – it blows me away. It excites me, it makes me feel so loved.

It makes me feel cared for and I know that Jesus God loves me. Because he took the time with me.

There’s another good lesson right there, taking time with people lets them know that you care. Not just going & evangelizing, but taking the time to sit and listen to them.

Love means listening. Love means taking some of your precious time and giving it to someone else. That’s love.

The Lord has been taking me on a journey, for several weeks. Months at this point. And he’s been giving me a story. We sit at night, sometimes in the morning, and he gives me a story. I write everything down. Some of the things are things from my own life, and that has made me think that it was me writing the story, not Jesus.

But it’s been Jesus the whole time. And during this storytelling he has healed my little ones. He showed me the two-year-old who fought the demons. And he brought me up to the age I am now, which is 7.

In all this telling of the story, he has given me lessons that I’ve written down. However, underneath all the talking and the story and everything, the Lord himself has been doing a work in my psyche. In my emotions, in my mind, in the deep, deep part of my soul.

While he talks, he also works on me. And he has healed. He has done a great healing without words and with words. The words he gives me, and the fact that he’s giving me a story, that I can go back to and read. He told me it’s like the Bible. However this gives me life lessons that I never had.

There are some lessons that can be learned through words, and there are some lessons that can be learned without words. And he told me to keep the story and to re-read it over the years because, “just like the Bible” he said, “you will get something new out of it each time you read it”. There are many lessons that are spoken in it. However there is also healing that will come through when I read it. Just like Jesus heals our emotions sometimes without us knowing it.

3.25.18 Cork 11

When The Little Boy woke up he looked everywhere to see if he could see the angel. He couldn’t. But he saw on his bed, a feather. He grabbed it and ran downstairs to tell his Mama and Daddy. “Mama! Daddy! look!”

And he showed him the feather. His dad said, “why, where did you get that son?”

The Little Boy said “oh I got to tell you a story”!

His mom laughed.

The Little Boy excitedly said, “last night I woke up and there was a blue light coming through the window, there usually is when the moon hits the window just right. But I saw an angel! First I saw a wing, and then I saw the whole angel!”

His dad said, “whoa! Whoa! An angel?”

The Little Boy said “yes Daddy. I’m not making it up. This feather proves it cuz there’s no birds around here with a feather like this.”

His mom reached over and picked it up and felt i. It was very soft and pure white. She said, “I’ve never seen a feather like this in my life.”

The Little Boy went on, “and Daddy? I talked to the angel! I asked the angel if he was an angel and he nodded yes, and I asked if he was there to guard me and he nodded yes, and I forget what else I asked.

BUT! GUESS WHAT??!”

His mom and dad said in unison, “what!?”

“I asked the angel if he would be there all night, and he said, well, he nodded – yes. I asked him if I could go back to sleep ’cause I was so sleepy. And he nodded his head yes and then he went and stood at the bottom of my bed and he stretched out his wings and he put them over me and around the bed and his wings touched. My bed was completely inside his wings!! When I woke up, I didn’t see any angel, but there was this feather on my bed!”

His mom said, “that is amazing. That’s just amazing Son! That’s so exciting to hear!”

Then his mom said, “you get upstairs and brush your teeth and get your clothes on for school. The Stranger will be here today!”

So he ran back upstairs and got ready for school. He put on his new clothes and ran downstairs and sat down for breakfast at the table.

His mom said, “This is the last of the eggs and the milk. So let’s have ourselves a very good breakfast!”

So they all had pancakes, eggs and some fruit. It was bananas. The Little Boy loved bananas. This is only the second time he’s ever had them. He thought, ‘when I grow up I’m going to have me banana trees all over my yard.’

So while he was eating his Mama and Dad were talking, they were talking about how they were going to fix up the house as best as they could so when they gave it to their new friends, it wouldn’t break.

His mom told his Dad to remember to fix the gas burner on the back of the stove and to see if he could fix the cord on the refrigerator, because it was getting frayed.

His Dad said, “yes honey I’ll get those done. I’m also going to make a frame for the sofa so hopefully, it will hold it up better and when they sit on it, it won’t be all the way on the ground.”

The Little Boy asked, “Daddy? When are we going to the new town?’

His Daddy said, “in about two or three weeks son. We have a lot of things to do here first, we have to get packed up and get the house fixed up. And I have to go talk to some people in town.”

“Oh, that’s a long time”.

His mom laughed and ruffled his hair, “oh honey, it’s not that long! The time will fly by and it will be here before you know it. Now get your things and get your jacket on, it’s time to go to school.”

Right then, there was a knock on the door. His mom looked at his dad quizzically and said, “who could that be this early in the morning?”

His dad said “I don’t know”. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and went to answer the door. What a surprise! There were all these people in the front yard! There were The Little Boys from school waiting for his son, there was the man that hired him for the job, and there was The Stranger over there by the gate!

He said to the man that hired him, “well this is a surprise, come on in. have some coffee.” And he motioned to The Stranger, “come on in and have some coffee!” Then he said to the boys, “my son will be right out.”

The Stranger said, “thank you but I can’t stay. I’m here to walk the children to school.” His Daddy said “oh okay. We’ll see you later then, for dinner?” The Stranger said “yes you will. Thank you very much for the invitation.”

His son said as he was going out the door, “Daddy can I stay to hear what the hiring man’s going to say?”

“You may stay for a few minutes. But you mustn’t make your friends late.” The Stranger said “oh no problem, take all the time you want. I have things to teach the boys out here.”

So his Dad shut the door and brought the hiring man inside and got him a cup of coffee. The hiring man said, “I’m sorry to come so early but I wanted to let you know before you packed up everything in your house. I had forgotten to tell you that the job comes with a fully furnished house. It’s a plant owned house. I live in one as well. That is, unless you would like to bring things from here, we can always put the stuff there in storage.”

His dad just was speechless and said nothing. Then he found his wits and said “oh thank you! That’s just wonderful!”

He looked over at his wife who had tears streaming down her face. She said, “thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to us.”

The hiring man said, “oh I think I do, I was in your shoes once.”

“You were?” His mom asked.

‘Yes, I even had it worse than you, I didn’t have a house. We were sleeping in a tent. And then I met someone, a stranger who came into the town, and he transformed my life. And this is where I am today. I am the foreman of one of the departments at this plant where your husband will be working.”

His mom mused, “that’s odd. Our lives changed too when a stranger came to this town. That was The Stranger at the gate, did you notice him? The hiring man said, “yes I did notice someone there, but he doesn’t look anything like the man that came to my town.”

His parents tucked that information away in their minds to think about later. So the hiring man said, “thank you for the coffee, it’s time for me to get back. If you need help with anything, moving your clothes or anything just let me know. Oh! By the way, there is a company car that you will be driving. You can also use it for your own personal use. It’s a perk of working at this plant.”

His dad exclaimed, “you are kidding me? That is so much! That is just wonderful.” And he started getting teary-eyed too.

The hiring man shook my dad’s hand, and shook my mom’s hand. He squatted down to my level, and he said “you’re going to like it there Son. There’s a bike there for you and a swing set.”

The Little Boy said “oh! Thank you sir”! And he ran outside to tell his friends all about it. His dad laughed, and said, “he’s so excited.”

The hiring man said “I understand. I have a daughter a couple years older than he is. And it was such a change in our lives. Everything was for the better. Now mind you there are some hard times too, but since we met The Stranger, it’s just… everything’s changed and we’re able to handle the hard times now, knowing things will get better. Well,” he said, “I’ll be off now!”

The hiring man walked out of the house. At the gate he stopped and waved and said “we’ll be seeing you in a few weeks!” His Mama and Daddy waved to him from the doorway.

3.26.18

‘Jesus? Can we have some tea? ”

“Are you sad little one?”

“I just haven’t spent time with you. We’ve been talking about the story all the time. And I want to have an adventure with you.”

Jesus asked, “isn’t the story an adventure for you?”

“Kinda, but it’s all about somebody else, it’s not about me. I don’t mean about me, but it’s about somebody else and I want to have some fun with you.”

“oh I understand honey. What would you like to do today?”

“I get the feeling that you want to do the story.”

Jesus nodded his head, and said, “Yes I do. However we can also maybe have a little tea party first? Or, maybe we can see what is behind that bunch of trees over there by the slide?”

“Oh yes Jesus! Let’s go see what’s back there. Jesus? How come I’m still acting like a little girl? I’m 7 now, right?”

“Yes, you’re seven. But you’re still a little girl honey.”

‘Okay.’

“You learn things along the way as you grow up. It’s not so much that at each age you act a certain way, it’s gaining the knowledge and the wisdom of what you have learned. From things that people have talked to you and told you – you gather it all together and then you get to the next stage and then go on from there. It’s not set in stone that something is going to happen at a certain age.”

“But Jesus, Janine’s looking at Medicare now. And that’s when she hits 65”.

“Yes there are things in the natural world that must be taken care of and must be done at certain ages. But learning and growing – changing and learning spiritual things and growing in the supernatural world, these come at any age honey. It doesn’t have to be that when you’re 7, you become a young lady or 60 you become an adult. Sometimes Janine, some people don’t grow up in”….

“Wait a minute I asked you to call me babygirl or Nini, not Janine.”

“You are right, you did. However I’m talking to both of you. Janine had questions like this too. Remember? Is it okay that I talk to her at the same time I talk to you?”

“I don’t know Jesus. I don’t want to share you. I want you all to myself.”

Jesus laughed and said, “so you don’t remember that you are all the parts of you? All the years of you are made up into what you are today. So you at 7, have all the younger ones wrapped up in you. Did you know that?”

“No Jesus. I didn’t think about it.”

Jesus said, “well just because you’re 7 doesn’t mean that there’s a lot of things that have changed for you. You are another year older it is true, there are still lessons for you to learn, still things for you to be taught. This is going to take some time Nini, are you good with that?”

“Do you want to ask Janine?”

“No, I’m asking you.”

“Why are you not asking Janine?”

“Because these lessons have to do with you at 7. There are certain times of transitions in your lives.”

“Do I have more than one life Jesus?”

“No honey, I was talking about the lives of humans. There are times of transitions. And when you go from 6 to 7 there is a transition from babyhood into being a little girl.”

“Oh.”

“So are you good with what’s going on with the story and with the lessons?”

“Yes Jesus. Can we, will you give me some heaven food so I could sit and eat it like when you go to a movie and eat popcorn?”

Jesus laughed and said “sure! Let me think of something really good. Here, I have just the thing” And he gave me this long board that looked like a xylophone. On the board were pictures of fruit. One was a blueberry, one was a strawberry, there was a watermelon, an orange and all these different fruits. Jesus said, “when you want a different flavor press the button and up will come a piece of candy like a gumdrop. It will be clear and it will be soft if you want to chew it. It will not hurt your gums or your teeth because there’s nothing like that here in heaven. If you want hard candy then it’ll just be hard candy.”

“How could it just be hard candy if that’s what I want?”

“Because all you have to do is think it and that’s how it is. What you think in your head babygirl, what you think in your head is what you get. Generally, what you think in your head comes out your mouth. But this time it’s the reverse. What you think in your head, you’re going to put in your mouth. It’s because we don’t go on words in heaven, we just think things and that’s what happens. It’s silent communication.”

“Oh Jesus! I know what that is! It’s like when my mom gives me a look. When she does that thing with her eyes.”

Jesus laughed, and he said, “exactly!”

“Jesus? There’s a lesson there for Janine isn’t there?”

Jesus said, “yes there is”

“Jesus? I know that Janine has been trying to see and do the things in heaven and stuff. Are you going to let her?”

“Yes in due time.”

“Jesus? Why do you always say due time? Why can’t you just say yes in a couple months or whatever?”

“Because, then people would be looking more at the time of when they think it’s going to happen, instead of keeping their eyes on me.”

“Oh. Jesus?”

Jesus looked down at me and smiled. “Yes little one”?

“Why do you always let me ask you questions?” I’m starting to cry now. “Why do you always answer my questions? How come you never tell me to shut up?”

“Oh babygirl, it’s because I love you so much! You do not tire me out, your questions do not tire me out. I love nothing more than to sit here with you and teach you.

Sometimes the mommies and daddies on earth, they don’t have the time, they think. They are busy trying to put dinner on the table and make enough money to buy the food. Or just trying to help each other or teach the other children. When mommies and daddies are not adult, when they’re not grown up themselves, when they haven’t been taught how to be a Mommy or Daddy, then they don’t know what to say, they don’t know what to do. And a lot of times mommies and daddies are not relying on me. They’re trying to do everything themselves. And it doesn’t work.

Yes, there are people that do not recognize me and they have raised children that are well-adjusted. But most of the time people grow up and they have to figure things out for themselves a lot. Because they haven’t been taught the nuances of how to think, or what to say.”

“Jesus? What’s a nuance?”

“It means a small thing, a little tiny thing that means a great deal. Some people don’t understand that it means a great deal.

Mommies and Daddies get tired babygirl. And they just don’t have the time, or they don’t take the time, to be with their children. It’s a sad thing. There are lots of children in the world that need to be listened too.”

I nodded my head yes. Jesus said, “there’s also a lot of adults that need to be listened to. They’re not totally grown up yet, because they need healing too.”

“Like you’re doing with me?”

“Yes babygirl exactly like I’m doing with you.”

“‘So you don’t tell me to be quiet or to stop asking questions, because you love me? Does that mean my mommy and Daddy didn’t love me?”

“No honey, your mommy and your Daddy loved you as much as they were able to. They just didn’t know how to parse out their time. They took on too much. They thought there were more important things that had to be done. Most people think that. They do not know that the most important thing is to sit with me so we can have conversations like this. So they can be healed.

Because everybody on earth needs to be healed. It doesn’t matter who a person is, or how important other people think they are, or they themselves think they are. Everyone needs healing. And everyone needs to be listened to.

When someone is…listen to me Nini, when someone is listened to, then they feel loved. You feel loved don’t you?”

I nod my head vigorously yes.

“So now that you know how it feels to be listened to, then you can listen to others and you can train other people to listen to other people. The most important thing in this world is for people to listen to each other, to stop judging each other and to stop comparing themselves to each other. If people would listen to each other, a lot of the problems in this world would be solved.”

Jesus smiled, “I know that was a little heavy for you, but when you’re older you’ll read this and it will make sense to you.”

I just nodded. I didn’t know what to say or do.

“I’m thinking maybe we should go to the Cork Road story.”

Jesus started laughing, a big belly laugh. I’ve never heard Jesus laugh like that, “yes we’ll go to the story in a minute! First let’s go see what’s behind those trees okay?”

I smiled at Jesus, “yes Jesus”! And I put my hand in his, my left hand in his right one and we walked over to the trees.

I knew this would be an adventure!

(I just looked at the time and it’s 11:11 p.m. I said “you don’t give up, do you Lord”? He said “nope”!)

“Jesus, what’s behind the trees?”

“Why don’t you poke your head through the trees and see what’s behind them?”

So I let go of his hand and I poked my head through the trees to see what was there. The trees were tall like columns on a house.

“Oh!” I exclaimed.

“What do you see?” Jesus asked.

“Bunnies! Green grass! Colored eggs! Like at easter! May I go in?”

Jesus laughed and said “yes, of course. Go sit right in the middle.”

So I went through the trees, and all of a sudden I had on a dress, that sparkled like sequins all over it! And I had a crown on my head. But it was like the princesses wore, not like king’s wore.

It was really pretty and I had on bracelets that were all sparkly, and my shoes were all sparkly.

I went and sat down in the middle like Jesus said, and all of a sudden all the bunnies started coming over to me. They were so cute! They were white and fluffy, with fluffy round tails just like in the picture books! And it’s like they knew me! And they were so friendly! I was petting them and there were others there, there were chicks. They came over to me and they let me hold them.

“Jesus why are the easter eggs here?”

Jesus said, “well the word ‘easter’ is not a good word to describe what happens at this time of year. Finding colored eggs in the grass and other hiding places is one of the things that helps my children to grow up to learn to search out for themselves, things that are hidden. It also sparks the imagination. For the adults and others, it helps their minds in the way they think, when they have to think where to hide things that aren’t too hard to find for the little ones.”

“Jesus? I’ve heard people back home say that it’s not good to hunt easter eggs and stuff like that. Because they said that it is not your thing. It doesn’t glorify you. Is that true? And what does glorify mean?”

‘Yes Nini, some of it is true. It really should be called Resurrection Day or some such, easter was a pagan goddess”, I interrupted and said “what’s pagan”? Jesus said, “Pagan means something that does not glorify me or bring glory to me. It is something of the world and not of my world.”

“What’s ‘glory’ Jesus?”

“Babygirl, glory is when I let my presence be felt, be known, when people come close to me through praise and worship and prayer; when people commune with me and get really close to me, then I release some of my warmth and brightness, I let people feel me. Releasing my glory is as much about feeling and seeing as anything is in the spiritual world.”

“Jesus? I hear people talking about it all the time in Janine’s world. They make such a big thing out of it. Is it a big thing? Should I try and get it too?”

Jesus laughed and said, “it is a big thing in a way, but babygirl, talking to me, like we are, and spending time together, you are in my glory. My glory is how you feel. You feel loved and you’re in my glory now babygirl. Some people call this the holy of holies.”

“What is the holy of holies Jesus”?

“It’s where people take the time and they sit, and they’re quiet, and they talk with me, they praise and worship me, and when they praise and worship and spend time with me, then I open the door and we commune together. It’s where people touch my heart and go away changed; they leave the time spent with me, a better person. Because they have learned something, or received something, or have they have just sat with me and I’ve been able to love on them because they sat with me. Just like you like it when I listen to you, I like it when people will just sit with me.”

“Jesus? I heard Janine and other people say that you like praise and worship all the time and that you like prayer, and that you like to be told that you’re wonderful.”

Jesus smiled and said “yes babygirl I like praise and worship. And I like to be told that I’m wonderful. What it means baby, is that people are thanking me and praising me and worshiping me. Yes that is important. Because when that happens, then I can release more of my glory – and it’s my glory released on the earth that gets things done. Babygirl, I can’t just do things on earth without being invited to.”

“What??”

“You have heard the prayer your mommy and Daddy told you to pray at night, right?”

“Yes”.

“They are teaching you how to pray. People need to pray and praise and worship, because it is like sweet smelling perfume to me. And when this sweet smell comes up to my nose and I can smell it, and feel it, that gives me a bridge to release back to people my blessings, my love, my essence – who I am and all the love and presents and gifts that I want to give them.”

“Jesus? I guess when Janine reads it she’ll get it right?”

Jesus smiled, and said “yes but it doesn’t have to be when she’s as old as she is now, you will understand this shortly as well.”

“Jesus? I know why you don’t mind when I ask too many questions.”

Jesus cocked his head and looked at me, smiled and said “why?”

“because every time I ask you a question you go into this huge long explanation that I usually don’t understand.”

Jesus said, ‘that’s part of it sweetheart. But I also really don’t mind your questions. I like questions, because it shows me how you’re thinking and it helps you to think and it helps you to form the questions, I like questions baby”.

“That’s good Jesus ‘cause I have a lot of them.”

Jesus laughed and said “yes you do! Keep them coming”!

“Jesus, can we do this next part of the story in here with the bunnies and stuff?”

“of course we can”!

“Jesus, I’m tired now. Can we do this tomorrow?”

“Yes. But I want you to meet me in the morning not at night okay?”

“Yes Daddy. Thank you”.

“My pleasure my girl”.

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