4.26.18 God’s word
God’s word is true. When we speak it, it comes to pass. Why does it not come to pass quickly? Because we live in a sinful world. We live in a world that is ruled for a time by Satan. We don’t fight against flesh and blood. We fight against principalities and powers in high places. Just like any fight takes time, this takes time too. We have to believe that the Word is true. We have to believe that God’s Word is alive. Just keep saying it. At some point the Word is going to win over all the evil forces in the world coming against it.
‘Oh Daddy, this is so pretty out here. The lights are so pretty and the jasmine smells so good. The gardenias smell so good and together they smell awesome. Daddy is this what heaven smells like?’
“Yes baby and this is how heaven feels. Heaven smells good and it’s comfortable, whatever you like- is heaven.” ‘Jesus, can we talk here and will you teach me how to be a lady here, outside?’
“Yes baby. Always be gracious to others. Never yell at other people or bark at them, always be pleasant and gracious. You don’t have to be friendly, Janine.” ‘There you go calling me Janine again. But I know Jesus, you’re talking to all of us. Thank you.’
“See how you feel Nini? You’re peaceful and you love the aroma and you’re very, very happy and so is Janine right this second. Now, picture someone sitting here with you and you have a teapot on the table, and a little pitcher of creamer, a bowl of Healthy Sweet – yes baby I remembered” Jesus chuckled.[He was talking about the sweetener I make. I’ll make it available at some point]
“Whoever it is, make sure that you are gracious with them. That you speak kindly to them. You’ve heard the saying, you never know what someone else is going through. You’ve also heard that people remember you by how you treated them. So starting tonight Nini, (4-26-18) I want you to start remembering to treat people nicely. Don’t lose your temper, don’t let people get under your skin. When people try to push your buttons – that means when they try to make you mad because they know you well enough to say things to you that they think will make you mad – don’t allow them to get you to lose your temper. Just resolve in your heart before you meet anyone, that you’re not going to let them get under your skin.” ‘Jesus? What about when I get mad? What about when they say bad things to me and stuff?’
“What did I tell you before Nini?” ‘You told me to come to you and talk to you and sit on your lap and cry, whatever I need to do. But Jesus I don’t always have the time to do that! What do I do when I get angry?’ “As long as you don’t sin by calling them names or losing your temper, it’s all right to get angry. Just remember that other people have hard things going on in their lives too. Sometimes people – most of the time – people take it out on other people or on animals. You remember to keep your voice even and soft okay?”
‘Yes Jesus I will do my best and I will read this again and practice it Father.’ “That’s all I can ask, baby. For you to practice it until it becomes second nature. Baby, that’s what praying is, praising me, praying for someone when they say that they don’t feel good, it’s second nature. Things become second nature when you do them all the time. You just keep doing them and doing them.”
‘Jesus? What do I do because I know that I’m probably going to lose my temper…’ “How old are you Nini?” ‘Well, I’m not really Nini, although they still call me Nini. I’m 10. Jesus? I know that I’m going to lose my temper. What’s going to happen to me when I do? Are you going to do something to me?’ “Oh, no no no! What do you want me to call you?” ‘You can call me Nini, or babygirl, that’s good.’
“I don’t do things to people sweetheart. I pour out my grace on you. Everyone needs mercy and grace. And I pour it out on you.” ‘Why is that Jesus?’
“Because I see your heart sweetheart. I see your heart. I know that you’re trying, I know what you’re thinking, I see what’s in your heart. And I award you and reward you accordingly. If what’s in your heart is something bad and something mean then I give you mercy. However you also will have to face the consequences of your actions. If what’s in your heart is good, generally what comes out of your mouth and your behavior is good. And I award you and reward you accordingly. And I give you grace. I give everyone grace. I know you try sweetheart, I know your desire is to please me. And that makes me very happy.
I know you struggle. I know Janine struggles. But I see your heart. All of you, ( Little ones), I see your heart and I am well pleased with you, all of you. You are my girls, you are my girls. I take such great delight in you. I love talking with you, I love spending time with you, I love teaching you. Did you know that sometimes I sing over you?”
‘I didn’t know that Daddy.’ “Ohhh you just called me Daddy, did you notice?” ‘That’s because I feel so in tune with you, I just feel – I’m not afraid of you and it’s so nice to not be afraid of you.’ “I am glad to hear that baby girl. I am very glad to hear that.”
‘This is how Daddies are with their daughters, aren’t they God?’ “What do you mean baby?”
‘Talking to each other and not yelling. Not calling me stupid and being supportive and loving, and like – it’s like we’re on a date. Out here it’s real pretty and it smells good and it’s like we’re on a date. This is how Daddies are, huh God?’ And I start to cry.
Jesus came over and wrapped his arms around me and he said he will heal me and I said yes Lord, swap out the bad with new. Make my memories of you, so I know and remember how it feels to be supported and not called names. Jesus, make me a new creation and all my little ones, all my parts, teach them how to be girls. Teach them how to act and be nice. Father make us new creations so we don’t have those other bad memories. Heal our memories Father. Give me good memories Father, change them, change the fear to love. Change my heart and change my outlook and change my memories I ask.
Renew our minds, renew our memories. Teach us how to be ladies, teach us how to be girls, tomboys are fine. I like who I am. But teach me how to be a woman and the girls. Teach me how to walk in the ways that you want me to walk, speaking the words you want me to speak, helping others in the way that you want me to help others. First and foremost Jesus, I want to be the daughter that you want me to be. That you created me to be. I want to be both, healed woman and girl. I want to be pleasing to you.
“You already are baby girl.” “I know Jesus, but I started cussing when I was like 10. I was in the 4th grade. I want you to take that out of my head and out of my mind and my memory even. Well not my memory maybe, but just take it out of me. I want to be pleasing to you Jesus and I want to walk in my calling, in the destiny that you have for me. I want to be whole first with you, one with you, then I want to be doing whatever it is you want me to do.’
“Thank you my girl”
4.27.18 I think people are out to deliberately hurt me.
In all earnestness I’ve been trying to please the Lord and do right. In all earnestness, the Lord wants me to have fun. I AM pleasing to the Lord.
‘Jesus, it’s hard to do this with Steve here. I feel constrained.’ “I know you do sweetheart. It’s okay. Do this when he’s gone. It’s good that you re-read what we’ve done already anyway.” “’Thank you Jesus. Jesus? I’m sorry I did not keep my temper today. Please forgive me.’ “I do sweetheart, you just keep trying. You work on it as hard as you can okay?” ‘Okay Daddy.’ ‘Jesus? I really want to get back to the Cork Road story.’ “I know you do sweetheart. We’ll get back to it.”