“I want to talk to your Little ones.”‘ ‘Wow God, that was quick. Which ones?’ “The one who’s afraid. And the one who’s sad. They are very close in age.” ‘How old are they Lord?’ “You’ll see.”
I’m walking toward Jesus scuffling my feet. I look at him and he has a stern look on his face. I’m afraid to go. Jesus says “look at me Nini.” ‘I am and you scare me.’ “Nini, I’m smiling!” ‘No you’re not.’
“How old are you Nini?” ‘I’m six.’ ‘I’m five and a half.’ “There’s two of you aren’t there? I see two of you.” “Yeah.” We’re both looking down at the ground, we don’t want to see Jesus ’cause he scares us.
Little white bunnies start hopping around our feet. Both of us reach down to pet one and it doesn’t run away. There’s baby bunnies and they’re coming over to us. We sit down on the ground and we’re laughing, the baby bunnies are jumping all over us and we pet them and they don’t run away! We heard a voice say, “Girls I sent those bunnies to you because I know you like bunnies, you like white bunnies. I love you both. I am not to be feared in the way you are afraid. You have been told lies.”
We both stopped petting the bunnies. We just held them and looked up sideways under our hair at Jesus. He was smiling.
“Girls, I was smiling when I first saw you! But what you saw was what fear put on you to see. Things are not always what you think they are. Many times my children look through glasses that someone else gave them, that are fear glasses. All you can see through them is things that you fear. You don’t see the real world, you don’t hear the real world, you don’t hear what people are really saying sometimes, because you have the fear glasses on and when you have fear glasses on, it messes up the way you hear things and it messes up the way you see things. The way they come off is you either take them off, or something good happens to you and they just melt away until they come on the next time.
If you take them off and smash them and work very hard on seeing things in a different way, hearing things in a different way, pretty soon that different way is going to be the way that you hear and see.”
“Isn’t that called brainwashing?” asked the 6 year old. “Wherever did you hear that word?” She said, “I heard men with Papa talking about it. They said that we would be good to brainwash. I didn’t know what that was, the other people were saying just to keep repeating things. That’s how fear is, isn’t it Jesus?”
“Yes baby girl, that’s how fear comes. You hear something negative long enough, then it brings fear. When something happens to you that is bad, it brings fear. And it changes the way you see things, it changes the way you hear things.”
“How do we get rid of it?” asked the 6 year old. She had a tight hold of the 5 1/2 yr olds hand. They were standing very close together. “Yes Jesus” asked the littler one, “how do we get the glasses off?”
“Well” said Jesus, “there’s a few things you can do. When someone says something mean to you, or when someone yells at you and it hurts you, you take that hurt and that thought, you put it in your hands and you give it to me. You can also learn from the 2 yr old Warrior Princess – and this is something you must learn – how to fight the devil.”
“Oh but Jesus he’s so scary!” “Would you girls like to sit on my lap?” “No not yet, but we will come closer?” “Okay” Jesus was sitting tailor style on the grass.
The bunnies are still with the children. The children moved closer to Jesus, then they sat down on the grass opposite him. Some bunnies sat down next to them and some of the baby bunnies laid down in their laps or in front of them.
“Girls,” Jesus began, “the devil is not as big as he makes himself look to be. I understand, I know that he makes himself look very scary. But I’ll tell you a secret. Would you like to hear a secret?” “Oh yes!” they said eagerly.
If you want to see the devil as he really is, start saying my name and start singing about how good I am and how wonderful I am. “What do we say Jesus?” “You say things like “Lord you’re good, Lord you’re wonderful, Jesus I love you.” Just saying my name over and over again also works.”
“Why Jesus?” “Because the devil hates my name, and the devil is afraid of me!” “The devil is afraid of you? Why?”
“Because I’m the only one that can put him in his place. I’m the only one – besides my children – who is stronger than him and knows more and is bigger than he is. The devil tries to make people think that he’s really big, but if you start saying my name, ‘Jesus’, if you say, “Jesus help me,” then the devil will shrink, he’ll get really small and he’ll leave. You know how you girls like balloons right?”
They both nodded their heads yes. Jesus said, “The devil is like a balloon. He blows himself up and makes himself look bigger than he really is. You’ve all seen a balloon before it’s blown up right?” They nodded yes. That’s what the devil looks like. Just this little piece of rubber. But then he blows himself up.”
“How does he blow himself up Jesus?”
“Well girls, he thinks he is really big and he thinks he’s really great and some people think he is really great.” The girls gasped. And this is one of the things that he can do. He can blow himself up and make himself look big and make himself look scary. Then, when you hear those mean or hurtful words and experience the bad things people do, those give hot air to the devil and he uses those mean words and those bad actions to make himself puffed up like a balloon.
That’s why it’s so important to not say bad words, to not say mean things to people, to not talk about other people and to not treat people badly. It’s very important to speak only good things out of your mouth. And it’s very important to forgive people right when they do something to you, or say something to you. I want you to know, that forgiving people for doing bad things to you like these men have done to you, does not release them from my judgment.” “What does it do Jesus?”
“Girls, when you forgive somebody, what it does is, it makes you happy. It take the negativity out of your heads and your bodies and out of your hearts. If there’s no negativity in you, then you will be able to see better and hear better when people say things. It’s like right now, when your Aunt Mimi says something about you and you hear it, it makes you feel bad, right?” “Yes,” they said.
“Well, that gets inside you. When you don’t give it to me, that hurt feeling, or the shame that people make you feel, then it grows inside you and it does things in your body and in your heart that harm you.” Innately the girls knew what he meant when he said shame. “How do we let it go Jesus?”
“There’s several ways girls,” he said smiling. “You give it to me, you say ‘Jesus that made me feel bad and I give it to you ’cause I don’t want it.’ Or you just call my name, ‘Jesus’. When you’re little like this, just saying my name erases many things, it helps in many areas. As you get older you’ll learn other ways. But right now when people hurt you with their words or their bodies, all you have to do is say my name out loud, ‘Jesus’. Even if you can’t say it in a big voice, you can whisper. Do you girls know how to whisper?”
“Yes.” “Let me hear you.” So they both whispered back, “yes.” Jesus clapped his hands, and said “Good! Good! You both do that very well!” They both beamed and looked at each other and then looked back at Jesus.
Jesus said, “since you’re so close in age, I want you girls to help each other. Will you do that for me?” “Yes.” The younger one asked, “How am I supposed to help her? She’s older’n me.”
Jesus smiled and said, “Yes she’s a little bit older than you, but you are a big help to her and to the others! You can whisper my name over and over and over. She will hear you and she will start saying my name too. What happens is each one of you learns something and it passes to the next one. So just like the 5 year old….”
The 5.5 yo Nini interrupted Jesus and said, “It’s not the five-year-old I hear or listen to.”
Jesus said “how old is she?” He already knew how old she was, but he wanted her to say it, he wanted her to acknowledge. She’s only a month younger than me and the one under her is two days younger than her. I know this Jesus.”
Jesus said “I know you do honey. You’re a very smart little girl. All of you little ones are very smart and very helpful to Janine. You’ve all had a lot of work put on you, but now I want you to forgive the people that have done things to you and said things to you and let me deal with them. Is that okay with you girls?”
They didn’t say anything. Jesus said, “I can do things that you can’t do because I’m God. You have done an awesome job at protecting yourself and protecting Janine. But really, what you should be doing is playing, and helping Janine in other ways and having a good time! Do you agree?”
They looked up at Jesus, there was no more suspicion in their eyes when they looked at him. There was something about the way he spoke and his voice, they weren’t afraid of him anymore. He wasn’t anything like the demon said he was. That’s all they ever heard, was demons. That’s what came out of their Mom’s mouth and their Dads mouth and Papa’s mouth. There was a difference in Jesus’s voice compared to other people’s voices. And when he talked his words entered into them.
But there was something else about his words that went into them like water overflowing somewhere. His words felt good, they calmed us down, they made us feel loved and wanted. They made us feel safe and protected. They made us feel like we belonged to him.
His words were teaching us things when he talked, but they also were teaching us things just listening to him. There’s the words he says and there’s the things that come out of his voice with the words and there’s something else. We don’t know what it is but we can feel it and it’s different than the people we’re around.
They started talking to Jesus in their heads. ‘Jesus, it’s the difference between being a scared Little Girl and a not scared Little Girl. A healed Little Girl, a strong Little Girl. Someone who has someone good on their side, who teaches them good things and teaches them how to fight and teaches them what to say. And they can feel inside themselves that this is right. And there’s no fear at all.’
[Lord, I don’t know if I can share this book and these lessons with somebody else. I don’t know that I want to. I don’t know that it would help somebody. And right now I want to eat. Everything.’ “Because you get comfort through eating. I’m going to heal you of that as well. But that’s down the road. As long as you eat healthy things you can eat.” ‘Thank you Father.’ ]
5.5 yo, “Jesus, I give you all the bad thoughts about Papa and about my sister and about Aunt Mimi, and Uncle Bob, and my Dad and my Mom, I don’t think I have any bad thoughts about Moggie, but if I do I give them to you too. Jesus, I ask you to take the pain out of my vagina. I ask you to take the pain out of my heart. And I ask you to take the pain out of my head.”
The real-time adult me is crying as the little one is crying, looking at Jesus and asking, “Will you take all the pain out of my head and my heart and my body? Will you take away all the pokes and all the everything? Can you do that?”
[My dog, who ALWAYS comes to me when I’m crying, sat on the sofa looking at me. This is a first. Clearly my angel is keeping him on the sofa which is good. ‘Cause I’m not in that place at this point.]
Jesus is crying too. I see tears running down his face. I walk over to where he is. His arms are outstretched toward me and I walk over to him.
I climb up into His lap and He wraps His arms around me and I’m sobbing. And Jesus is crying. He said, “yes little one I can do all that. And I will do more than that. I’ll make all those places new as if nothing ever happened. I will heal your heart, I will heal your mind and I will heal your body. I will heal everything about you because you are so precious to me. You are my babygirl Nini, you always have been and you always will be.” My sobs subside.
The 6 yr old is standing there crying. She said, “Jesus can I come over to?” He said “of course you can sweetheart”!
He reached out his hand and she came over, standing in front of him, and she said “Jesus? I forgive Papa and I forgive my Daddy and I forgive my Mommy and I forgive my sister and I forgive Aunt Meem and Uncle Bob and I forgive the neighbors and the relatives and those men at that place.” Jesus was crying again. He said “oh baby, I’m so glad you did that. I will wash your heart clean and I will wash your mind clean and I will wash your body clean.” “Jesus? I forgive everybody who touched me and who hurt me. That makes my stomach hurt Jesus. Why does it make my stomach hurt to say that to you?” “I’m going to take that stomachache away. It’s fear baby girl.”
I put my hand sideways in the middle of my head on top, at my forehead, and I said, “I command fear to come out of my stomach in the name of Jesus. I command fear to come off of my cells in the name of Jesus. I command fear to come out of my body in the name of Jesus. I command fear to come out of my mind in the name of Jesus. I command fear to come out of all of me, all the Little Ones, all the younger ones. I command fear to be broken off me right now, in the name of Jesus. I command fear to leave, all fear, any fear that is wrapped around cells, DNA, any organs, any part of my body, my soul, my spirit, my mind, I command demons to flee and I command fear to come off of me in the name of Jesus. I apply the blood of Jesus inside me, flowing through my veins, flowing inside me, all over and outside me in the name of Jesus. Amen, amen.”
“Nini, that was very good of you” Jesus said. “Your tummy doesn’t hurt anymore does it?”
“No Jesus it doesn’t. I don’t want it to ever hurt again, Jesus.”
“It hurt baby girl, because fear was trying to make a last stand, it was trying its best to stay in you, but because you forgave everybody, fear couldn’t stay there anymore. I’m so very proud of you Nini!” I smiled at Jesus. “Jesus? Can we play?” Jesus said “of course. You both have done a lot of work. Do you feel better?”
“Yes we do” they both said. “Thank You Jesus.”
“You’re welcome girls. There is going to come a time when you’re going to have to learn from the two-year old how to fight the demons okay?”
“Okay Jesus!” We said. “Jesus? We don’t want to be antsy. That’s what Mama always calls us, is there anything else you want us to do?”
Jesus replied, “not right now girls. And let me tell you something. You’re not antsy. You’re Little Girls. When you’re little and when you’re young, you don’t want to sit still for long and you don’t want to do things that take a long time. That’s one of the reasons I’m so very proud of both of you right now. You worked very hard and I’m very proud of you. Some adults do not understand that children don’t want to sit for very long. You’re not antsy girls, you’re normal! That’s the way you’re supposed to be! That’s the way I created you!”
“Thank you Jesus! We feel so good inside!”