My Story

I went from trying to be a square peg fitting into a round hole, to being happy fitting my square peg into the wild unknown.

I went from wanted to unwanted in 2 short years. I was molested, abused, emotionally neglected and abandoned. I tried half-hearted suicide a couple times. I was, essentially, given birth and left to fend for myself. I internalized all the abuse, as most of us do.

I wasn’t taught how to integrate with society. The nuances of being a human and getting along in polite society.

I found Jesus in 1979. He told me I was a work in proCESS, not proGRESS. Process – a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.

In 1991, I was diagnosed as clinically depressed and put on prozac. When there was no improvement, someone introduced me to a company that sold herbal combinations. I started taking one of those combinations and got a lot better. My Christian psychologist didn’t like it and refused to see me anymore. It didn’t fit in the ‘norm’. [He actually said that]

A different Christian psychologist told me I need new tapes to run in my head, but she wouldn’t give me the words. { I just can’t imagine telling someone that and not helping them get it } I couldn’t find them on my own, because all I heard was the negative things.

I have utilized every avenue God has provided to get healed. Inner healing and deliverance, counseling, the Bible, herbs and flower essences.

2013-On a road trip God asked me if I wanted to stay doing my business or go deeper with him. Whichever way I chose, He would bless me in it. He also told me if I went further, ‘it would be an alone place’.

This was a huge struggle. How and why would I want more aloneness? But I did want to go further with him. Finally I said, “I want to go further”. I was going East on I-10 in the middle of the desert. Very apropos. When I said ‘further’, he said, ‘you won’t be alone, there are others there.’

2015 he told me to ‘use and sell flower essences’. Huh??? What? Are you kidding? I don’t believe in that witchcraft. He said, “it’s mine and I want it back.”

Even though I had dabbled in rocks and how they feel; even though I had made bottles of colored water to heal my imaginary friends in my childhood hiding place; even though I had been attuned to plants, trees and flowers for decades – when I first became a Christian, some well-meaning Christian told me ‘it was all witchcraft’. I didn’t want to make God mad, so I adopted what they said. So 36 years of fear had to be worked through. Note: Usually, whenever there’s a fear, there is truth behind it. The fear is trying to keep us from seeing it.

2019 The book God told me to write so others would know this is from Him was published.  Frequencies and Flower Essences: Witchcraft? New Age? Christian?

Dec 2017 God and I started having ‘dates’ every day. He would take me on visions, like a vision quest. I would face fears, I would see parts of heaven. {I can help you in this}

I have written down and recorded every. single. thing we have done and said. Jesus asked me to share everything. He said it will help to heal the emotions of others, knowing they aren’t the only one, that there is help and they will understand who He is and how much He loves them.

How could I say no? Although I must admit, I struggled with this for years. I didn’t want to let everyone see the innermost part of me, now that I’ve finally gotten to a place where I fit in!    He said to put my songs online, start a youtube channel and put the story He’s healed me with, online and in a book.

I am here to help you know God, release the joy inside you and receive healing in its’ various forms. If you feel outcast, like you don’t fit in, if you have trouble with anger, insecurity, lack of joy, there’s an essence for that!

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