Before we start, you can enlarge the text by holding down ‘cntrl’ and using your scroll wheel. The beginning was..the beginning. The way I punctuated and used quotes was different than the latter part. This is such a huge work, I’m editing as I post. At the beginning I have quotes around both of us talking. I’m working on making it all correct, but if I lapse, give me grace please.
My email is doorstojoy at gmail if you have any comments. There is just no way I’m going to open up comments on this. I *may* start a facebook group if enough people want to discuss anything regarding this. For right now, it’s more important to get the book up on this blog than it is to proof everything for proper punctuation, etc.
It’s imperative you read the pre-forward to understand what’s going on and the different names Jesus calls me and why.
12-15-17 – I’m sitting at a highly polished, wooden table with Jesus. And he’s serving me. He’s bringing me a cup and saucer and I’m bewildered,
Shouldn’t I be serving you?
“No, I serve you. I always have.”
I am just bewildered. I’m looking quizzically with my brow furrowed.
“Well I can sit down and the angels can serve us.” So he sits down, and the angels serve us. They’re bringing cups and saucers and coffee and it fades away.
“I do it this way when people first start coming to heaven so things won’t be so strange for them. They will see things as they’re used to them, but as time goes on, you won’t need these earthly ways of doing things. I don’t do things here in heaven the same way you do them on earth. Things are different here.”
He held out his hands to me and I put my hands in his and then I put my head on his hands and he stroked the back of my hair – my head. And I went to bed because he was loving on me.
The second time I went to the table it was the same polished wood, beautiful wood, and he put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and he said he’d lay with me on the bed with my head on his chest. So I went to bed like that.
Third Time it’s a round glass tempered table. It had white doilies on it and a three-layered plate with Petit fours on it and tea, or coffee whichever I want. There was gold edging on the table, and the Petit fours have pink icing, the way Petit fours are supposed to be. Very pretty.
I believe it’s tea. Angels are serving us at the table. Jesus is always on the far side and he’s already there.
Jesus is leading me by the hand beside a brook and it’s all grassy and pretty.
Jesus, how come I talk to God and God talks to me but it’s always you that I see with me? Jesus laughed and said, “because we are one and the same”.
Do you want me to call you something else, like instead of calling you God I call you Holy Spirit or Jesus or something?
“No, you can call me whatever you want.”
Where are we going?
“Up here a little way”.
I saw a playground with some monkey bars and swings, I asked him, ‘why is there a playground? And why do I feel so young?’
“Because I’m going to heal you of some things from your childhood.”
I started crying ‘Thank you. What are we going to do now?
“we’re going to just talk a little bit and share’.
Will you show me colors of the birds? Will you show me colors of heaven and food and all that?
“Of course I will, but I want to heal you of some things first’.
Do you want me to do anything Dad?
He smiled gently, “no. I’m really glad that you see me as your father now. That’s been a really important thing for you.
There’s nothing that I want you to do. I just want you to spend time with me here and as you spend time with me here, I will heal you. There’s nothing for you to do Janine. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to measure up. You don’t have to say the right thing. As we talk and commune with each other and just talk, I will heal you. Come back often my daughter”
“I will Daddy!!!
What are we going to eat? Will you show me food in heaven? What are we going to eat?
I heard nothing, I didn’t see where he was. ‘Daddy! Daddy!!’ I yelled with panic in my voice.
“Here I am. I want you to know that all you have to do is call for me. I will be right there. You may not see me, you may not feel me there with you, just know I am always with you. Just like you know someone always loves you, I am always with you.”
You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that relationship aren’t you father?
“Yes I am my girl. Quite a bit, there was so much you needed to know, so much you needed to learn, so much you needed to have and so much you needed to receive.”
I see blueberries, but they’re purple and they’re sparkling. It’s like fruit made out of sequins! It’s a bowl piled high and heaping over with blueberries that are purple and shiny and sparkling.
And I see shiny translucent leaves, ‘God are those to eat’?
Jesus laughed, and said ‘yes of course they are. Pick one up, you’ll see it falls through your fingers’.
I did pick one up, and it did fall through my fingers.
That was so weird father how do I eat it if it falls through my fingers’?
“Command it to stay together”.
Me, “Leaves I command you to stay together.”
So I ate one, and it was cool, and it was slick, it was not slimy, it tasted like green, like lime. It was fresh, I couldn’t describe it. It wasn’t tart, but it tasted kind of like it was tart, but it wasn’t. Kind of like a cucumber, cool and refreshing like a cucumber.
The sun is out, it’s a nice day. ‘Father? Why aren’t there any other kids here’?
“This is a date for you and I” He said.
‘Daddy, what are those square brown things’?
‘Pick one up and see’ he said
So I picked it up, and I turned it around, I looked at it, he said ‘rub the edges’ because the edges are very hard it seemed. So I rubbed the edges and it was soft and came off like meringue. They weren’t hard like it looked. They were square and brown, very dark brown, shiny, It felt like it was solid as well. But it was meringue and something else.
So I put it in my mouth, in my eyes grow big and wide! “Lord,! It’s sweet”!
Jesus laughed, and said “yes I know. We have sweets up here too!”
‘Daddy, will you heal me when I sleep too? I’m tired of being a little kid all the time. I can come back anytime, can’t I’?
God said ‘yes you can, however when you start growing up and when you’re healed at the little one stage, the little one doesn’t come back so much anymore. Janine everybody starts here. Everybody starts at the child stage to be healed and to be refreshed and healed in thoughts, emotions, spirit and bodies Janine’.
Father? It’s just that I’ve been dealing with the little ones inside me for so long.
“Yes I know, you’ve had a lot of things happen to you. I am going to heal your bones in this time. And it will take as long as it takes. Don’t fret about it Janine just flow with it, go with it, I will tell you what to do with Soothing Hearts, the time is not right now’.
But Lord you told me you wanted me to start a Publishing Company.
“And I do.’
‘Well I need to put it under a name I need to have a name for it and I need you to give me the name for it. And I need to know if you want me to put it under soothing hearts, that makes the most sense’.
G, ‘if you want to change the name of Soothing Hearts you may. You wrote that in the bylaws. I understand what you mean about being passive and active voice’.
G, ‘in time Janine, in time’.
Me, ‘father how am I supposed to start a publishing house when I don’t know how? How am I supposed to be obedient to you when you don’t tell me what you want? Hmmm, and your timing is not my timing so this healing might not be all that long’.
‘Well father, the book is almost finished. I’m sorry it took me so long’.
G, ‘I forgive you baby girl’.
‘Daddy, I give you as long as you want, because your purpose is always perfect for me. I ask your forgiveness for chafing at the bit in Jesus name’.
G, ‘I forgive you. You know I want what is best for you. Thank you for giving me carte blanche and the time’.
‘You’re really thanking me God?’
Yes, because it’s always easier, as you have already learned, to work with me, than any other way’.
Can I come back?
“Are you done now?”
Yes God, I’m tired and it’s hard to focus.
‘Yes we can be done now. Come back with me every day. Come back and visit with me’.
‘Yes father, thank you for asking me. Thank you for healing me. (whispering) I love you back’.
I asked father if I could come to the table. And he said yes. So I went up there and he was holding a little girl’s hand, she was skipping along beside him, she was about 2 or 3 years old. She had on this really pretty pink and white lace dress most of it was white lace with a pink sash and it was me. I said ‘geez that’s a really pretty dress’.
You had pretty dresses like this when you were a child’.
I said ‘I guess so’. And then I thought back and I did. And I said ‘yes I did. But this one that she’s wearing is so so pretty’.
Jesus said ‘what do you see’?
I see she’s young, I see she’s very, very happy. I see green grass. She’s holding your hand, looking up at you a lot and just seems to be ecstatically happy.’
‘That’s because I have healed her’ he said. ‘This is one of your little ones Janine. Remember all those times you would sit in the hot tub? And you would talk to your little ones’? ‘Yes Father’.
“Well, they listened. And they did accept me as their Savior. And they did ask me into their hearts. They do let me love on them and this is one of them. This is all the work that you have done Janine. This is a result of all the work you have done.
You have gone through a tremendous amount of inner healing and deliverance. This is the fruit of your labor. Many of your little ones are healed and this little one is no exception. She’s happy’.
Me, ‘why did you ask me what do I see’?
Him, ‘because I want you to take note. I want you to see all that you can see and I want you to feel what she feels. Freedom, love, happiness. Carefree. I want you to feel that way with me Janine’.
Me, ‘Pardon Me Lord? How do I do that Lord? It seems like a common thread that you’ve been telling me for some time now’.
G, ‘yes I have. For some time’.
M, ‘how do I live carefree? What about all the things I have to do? Getting the book done? Getting the business sold? Doing the nonprofit? How can all that be ‘care free’?
“Look at her. She trusts me. She looks up to me with hope and expectation and happiness. She completely trusts me. She knows I’m not going to hurt her, or lead her down a path that will hurt her. She trusts me. I want you to completely trust me Janine.
Trust me. Trust that I have your best interests at heart. Trust that I am not going to let you fall through the cracks. Trust that I am not going to let you fail, I’m not going to let you go off the deep end. You’re not going to fall into an abyss. You are going to soar with me. I want you to shake out your wings and let them come unfurled, let them dry out so that you can soar with me. Set your wings wide’.
‘Father this is all still a little freaky for me’.
G, ‘You’ll get there my girl. You’re coming along nicely. Just don’t fret so, don’t worry about things, just, “go with the flow”as they say. LOL What else do you see’
‘I see tea cups and fun’.
God says ‘yes I envision teacups for you as well. pretty tea cups, tea service, tea parties, high tea, fun tea’.
Me, ‘why tea’?
G, ‘look up the rituals of tea’.
‘Yes father. Now’?
G, ‘no not now, tomorrow. What else do you see’?
Me, ‘I see she’s getting sleepy and her head is coming down on your arm’.
G, ‘yes, because she trusts me’
‘I guess you’re telling me that I don’t trust you’.
‘You trust me some Janine but not enough to fly, not enough to soar. You still have things you need to let go of, you still have fears. Everyone does honey, don’t be too hard on yourself, just know that you do have fears and you need to conquer them’.
Me, ‘Fears of like heights God? Or fears of the heart’?
G, ‘All fears Janine, but mostly fears of the heart’.
Lemons. All of a sudden I saw lemons ‘Lord, why lemons’?
God said ‘look up what lemons are for’.
‘Well Lord, I know they are antiseptic, antioxidant, they’re refreshing, they smell good, they make your body alkaline and healthy. And they are an antidepressant’.
G, ‘good. Do you want to go to sleep now’?
‘Yes Lord I do. And I ask you that I sleep all night and I get restful deep sleep.
G, ‘you shall have it my girl. I love you baby’.
‘I love you too God’.
‘Why is it cloudy’? There is trouble, ‘Jesus I’m scared’! And I start to cry.
“Why are you scared’?
I don’t know.
“Get in the folds of my robe.” I hide myself in there and I calm down. I stop crying and I’m in there safe.
Jesus why am I scared?
“Sometimes you’re just afraid of fear itself. Sometimes that’s something that the devil puts on people. Just to be afraid. not to be afraid necessarily of anything in particular, just to be afraid.
This is something that people have to shake off. They have to walk through it. You have to stop being fearful. There is more to life than fear. There is more to life than being afraid of what other people think of you and what other people are going to do. If my people who are called by my name would come close to me, would trust in me, would look to me. Would pursue me.
What do you see Janine’?
‘I see dew sparkling on the grass and it seems like the air is sparkling away off over there with the sun shining. But right here where I am with you it’s still dark’.
“That’s because everyone’s life has darkness in it at times. But if you stay close to me then you will be safe. You will know what to do if you follow me and my word.
What else do you see Janine’?
I see a big scary giant coming up to me.
“I will send my angels to fight him.” Michael shows up, with a sword flashing he starts to fight this giant. And then the giant grabs me by the leg and he’s trying to pull me away. But Jesus still has me in the folds of his robe somehow and Michael the angel is fighting for me.
I’m afraid that the monster is going to get me even though I’m right next to Jesus. I’m afraid the monster is going to pull me away.
Then all at once, I was burying my face one second in the folds of Jesus’ robe, and then all the sudden I saw my little two year old self, standing up with my hands on my hips, shouting at the giant to stop and leave me alone!
I’M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS GIANT! YOU STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! I BELONG TO JESUS! I AM HIS AND HE IS MINE AND YOU STOP AND LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
I saw my two-year-old self shaking my finger at the giant telling him to stop.
Michael the angel is standing on the right side of me, behind me.
Jesus was waiting for me to stand my ground as his daughter and tell that monster he could not have me, he had to go. Once I said that, then the monster backed away and he left me alone.
Jesus stood behind me, to my left and back. The monster saw him and the angel. The monster didn’t come any closer and then Jesus went and stood in front of me and the monster went completely away. So what I had to do was stand my ground, even at 2.
LOL I had on this little white sleeveless warrior dress with a leather sash and my hair is tied up with a piece of matching leather into a ponytail and it was in curls and I was cute, and I was fierce, and I told that giant monster he had to go!
Then I turned around to face Jesus who is at that point behind me and I marched over to him slapping my hands together, brushing it off like okay that’s done! I went over to Jesus and he was sitting down and I crawled up into his lap and I laid down.
Jesus stroked my head and said “that’s enough for one day.”
Jesus, what did you want me to learn from this?
“What did you learn?”
I believe that I learned to stand my ground before the enemy because I am your daughter and to stand my ground and not let him come and take me or hurt me or scare me but to tell him to go.’
“Good girl. Yes, that is what you learned.”
May I carry that through the rest of my ages until I am grown?
“If you work at it. It doesn’t come easy, you have to work at it.”
Thank you Daddy, may I go to bed now’?
G, ‘yes. Read back through these Janine, see what I am teaching you. Meet me tomorrow, earlier than midnight’.
I’m skipping along and Jesus reaches out his hand for me to take it and I do. And I asked him, ‘where are we going’?
“Do you like the picnic area’? ‘I said yes’ and he sensed my hesitation and he says ‘would you rather sit at a table’?
I said ‘it’s cold’. Jesus said, ‘it’s cold like it is outside of your house huh’? I said yes.
Jesus said ‘do you want to come under here with me’?
It was a tent thing and there was a candle in there and he was sitting tailor style. I didn’t want to go in because I was afraid. Jesus said “Are you afraid even with me here?” I nodded my head yes.
“Yyou don’t have to be afraid with me here.”
I said I was anyway. I went in there. He took me by my hand and held my hand solidly in his. I was clinging to his hand tightly and I went in. I sat really close to him and I was afraid.
Jesus said, “remember what you learned last night’? I nodded my head yes, he says ‘can you do it now’? I shook my head no I was too afraid.
Jesus told me, “you are afraid to come in here because of what went on outside, it’s what made you come in here. Things that you are afraid of made you come into this cave-like thing where it was dark and warm.”
I was still afraid and I crawled under the folds of his robe and up to his chest. It was dark and warm.
Jesus said “that’s why you do that, you trying to get to where it’s dark and warm. Where you can’t see anything, thinking that nothing can see you either because it’s dark and it’s warm and where it’s warm you feel secure.”
I’m crying. ‘Is that a bad thing Daddy’?
‘No honey, it’s not a bad thing unless you stop doing something in your life because you are in fear. If you are running to get a blanket or get warm, ask yourself why”.
“yes Daddy. So what do I do when I figure out why’?
“if you’re doing it because of fear, you need to stand up to that devil, just like your 2 yr old did.
That’s why you used to do that with Steve. When you laid on the bed with him and you put your head on his chest and he had his arms around you. You were trying to get as close as you possibly could and make it as dark as you could because you wanted to get somewhere safe and warm.
That’s why you would go into cave like things. Whether it was under the stairs in Alameda, where it was dark, until you put a flashlight in there and made it like a home. It was small, dark and warm. You felt safe in there. People couldn’t find you. And in the tent you made over the tree branch in Moggie’s backyard; it was a nice place there and you were not afraid, it was just that you were used to going and hiding. It was your own special place. That’s why you don’t like big houses, you can’t draw them in around you. You feel safe in the small. You thought if you could make yourself small, no one could find you. No one could hurt you. Baby girl you don’t have to hide anymore. Remember what you learned last night?”
Jesus, a lot of stuff is tied up in this isn’t it?
Jesus nods his head yes. The weight, I put the weight on me because I can’t hide so I try to hide behind that. Thinking that I’m slacking off, I’m just trying to hide. “Jesus I ask you to heal me. Jesus I give you the fear, I give you the fear and the trying to hide and I ask you to forgive me for it and get it off of me.”
Jesus says, “do you remember what you learned last night baby girl”?
“Yes Father. But I don’t know how to stand up to anything ’cause I don’t see an enemy”.
“you have an avoidance issue.”
“yes you avoid things. You avoid going to the doctor, you avoid getting into things, you play games instead of doing whatever you know you should do. Reading the Bible, you avoid, you just step away”.
Me, “is that a problem”?
Jesus said “yes. It is when there are things you need to do, and most often, you have things to do. It’s a heart issue. Love like God”.
“So that’s why you wanted me to start taking a flower essence, right? You said any it didn’t matter as long as I was taking one”. Jesus said, “yes”.
“So how do I confront this issue of wanting to hide and be warm? Mostly it’s wanting to hide. How do I confront this Lord? How do I confront the avoidance?
Jesus I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my wrongdoing. Come into my heart in Jesus name.
Nini, I have always been with you. When you acknowledge me that’s when more things can happen of good in your life. But I’ve always been with you. And I’ve always sent my angels to be with you”.
Jesus, can I see an angel will you show me an angel of your angels – not demonic? I don’t want to see that, but one of your angels. What I really want to see is an open eye vision. I want to be able to touch things in heaven. I want to be able to touch heaven and touch things in heaven and touch things here. I call in my healing from the spiritual into my physical realm.
Jesus I ask that you meld me together. The adult logical and the one that tries to avoid, and grow me up. Heal me and make me one as much as you want to, as it is your desire to, in Jesus name. I want you Jesus. I want you. I don’t want any other person unless it’s a person that you have brought into my life. I ask that you remove everyone and anyone and anything that is in my life that is causing me harm or distracting me or destroying my relationship with you’.
G, ‘can we come back into the cave now’? I nodded yes.
I sat in the teepee with Jesus. Then behind me there was light that came up on the teepee. On my half of the teepee it was all light and flowers were growing up on the outside of the teepee and there were embroidered flowers on the teepee, but they were all so alive. And Jesus was on the other side sitting there still, with a candle in front of him and it was dark on his side and he said ‘do you like it’?
I said yes. He says ‘do you like this side to”? I said yes.
He said “you can come back whenever you want to”. I said “why would you let me come back in the dark part when it was bad”?
“It wasn’t bad. It was what was causing you to come in. It was the fear and the hurt, but mostly the fear. It’s the reason that was causing you to come in that was bad, it wasn’t that you were coming into a dark, small space. Besides, with the candle it wasn’t totally dark anyway.”
So if I want to come back to the part that I like, I can. If I want to come back to the part that’s warm and dark I can.
“It’s like when you go to sleep – it’s warm and dark, and comfortable. And that’s what it is now, it’s comfortable. It’s no longer a hiding place from fear”.
So, it’s alright if I go into small, dark, warm places?
“You need to check your heart on why you are wanting too. If it’s to escape, then no, it’s not alright. If it’s to be with me, or be comfortable, yes. It’s a fine line Janine, a very fine line’.
Would it be better if I just don’t do it?
Jesus said, “yes, and that time will come”.
Me, “THANK YOU Lord! Thank you! Tomorrow another one yes?
Jesus said yes. “Thank you for taking the time to do this”.
Jesus said “Thank you for taking the time to do this”.
‘Jesus! Jesus! Wait for me’!
‘Hurry up little one, I’ve been waiting’.
‘Where are you? I can’t see you. It’s dark in here’.
‘I’m right here’, Jesus said.
‘Where? I can’t see you. I can’t see anything’.
‘Can you feel me’? He asked.
I said, ‘yes, all around’.
‘right here’ he said, ‘reach out your hand’. I stretched out my hand into the darkness. I felt nothing. He said, ‘turn your palm up’. I turned my palm up and he put his hand in mine.
‘there will be times where you can’t see me, you may be able to feel me. And you may not. But I will always be here with you. All you have to do is reach out. reach out in faith. Reach out and trust’.
We walked hand-in-hand toward an opening. It has light at the end of it. As we walked toward it, everything got lighter.
‘where would you like to go today’? Jesus asked. I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I don’t know’, I replied. ‘I’d like to grow up, I’d like to get past this and into the other stuff’. Jesus smiled at me and said, ‘I think we should stay here just a little bit longer.
‘Ok’, I smiled back.
‘Do you know where we’re going’? He asked me.
“We’re going to Moggie’s house’. [my grandmother with whom I lived off and on during my childhood]
“There’s something I want you to do there. There’s something I want you to see and there’s something I want you to face.”
‘yes sir’. I was kind of scared, so I asked Jesus if I could take more of the flower essence that was by my side here.
He said ‘yes, it might help fortify you’.
As we walked along, hand-in-hand, I saw Moggie. I told Jesus that I loved her. He said, ‘yes and she loved you too’. And then I saw Papa, and I told God, ‘I loved Papa’.
Jesus said, ‘yes, he loved you too, although sometimes he didn’t love you in the right way’.
What do you want me to see and what do you want me to do?
I saw darkness all around me and I was afraid. Then I had the picture in my mind of being 2 yrs old and fighting the demon and telling him to back off and go back to the pit of hell. That if I could do it at 2, I could do it at any time. And Jesus was there to remind me that he is always with me and he always has an angel with me.
10.34p, there’s an angel here. I sense it.
Pico lifted his head and watched me. “Jesus, what did you want me to see”?
Jesus said, ‘I wanted you to see that I am always with you and there is an angel always guarding you’.
‘You tie everything together, don’t you God’?
He said, ‘yes, I do. It’s building on each lesson. Each lesson builds on the lesson before it.’
‘So me remembering fighting the demon as a 2 yr old, with you behind me and the angel off to my right, will just carry through to everything else right’?
“What did you want me to face?”
“Your fears of the dark”. I can fight the enemy with faith, courage and knowing Jesus and a huge angel is always with me.
‘what do you want me to do’?
“I want you to face your fears head on. Stop cowering. Take the bull by the horns as-it-were, knowing I am with you and you always have an angel with you. Stop being so timid..”
“really? I’m timid Lord’?
“yes, because you are not just the Janine of right now, you are the Janine of all the other parts of you. You know that. The little ones of you have to know that I am with you and I am with them and that you can do exploits in me. Father Knows Best, Janine.
I knew He was reminding me to watch tv shows with good fathers in them. “Yes Lord. I’ll find it and start watching it’.
‘I don’t want to waste time or money Lord’.
How do I test you? How do I test what you say to me?
‘read my Word’.
It’s not all going to be in there, what you say to me.
“Courage is, ‘fear not’ is…”
‘But that doesn’t have anything to do with me thinking you said to start a publishing company’.
G, “what’s the worst that can happen”?
“I’ll lose money”.
G, “I’ll provide you with money. What else”?
“I will be a failure. I won’t make money, I won’t know what I’m doing, I’ll be doing everything by the seat of my pants like I always do. I want to be knowledgeable, I want to have proof. I haven’t even seen an angel God! I sense them a few times, but I haven’t even seen one. And it’s rare that I abolutely know that it’s you saying something to me’!
“Trust what you hear.”
How do I trust what I hear’?
“Go back and read what you wrote. Just listen to me.”
12-27-17 I look up at Jesus and I slip my hand in his, smiling at him and he smiles at me. he says, ‘do you remember where we were’? I said yes. He said, ‘we were walking out of the dark’ and I said, ‘yes’.
I could see the light on this teepee and all the embroidered flowers on it and it was like we were walking out of it. Jesus wants me to remember that he is always with me. no matter how dark it is, no matter where I am, he wants me to remember he is always with me and that he always has a protector angel with me. A guardian angel.
Jesus tells me, “I always have a hold of your hand. You can pull your hand out of mine and do wrong things on purpose. You can also do wrong things not on purpose. But I am always with you. If you take your hand out of mine, then I put both of my hands on your shoulders. You are never out of my touch or grasp”.
‘where are we going’? I asked.
‘we are going out to the light’ said Jesus.
‘good’ I said and laughed. He smiled.
“yes, my daughter’, he answered.
You said yesterday that you had something for me to see, to face and to do. Have I seen it? Have I faced and have I done it?”
‘some’ he replied. ‘you haven’t faced all of it, there’s still more to come. As there is with everyone, in everyone’s life’.
Jesus took me over to the part of the teepee he was in at the beginning, and he sat down, tailor style and brought me into his lap and started brushing my hair.
He said, ‘remember jigsaw puzzles’? I said, ‘yes’.
‘sometimes things in life are like jigsaw puzzles Janine. Sometimes you can figure out how to put it together and sometimes you cannot. There are times when it feels like you’re going blindly down an alley, or blindly doing something – because you don’t know which way to go or what to do, like starting this publishing business. You did not know there was insurance. You didn’t know all these ins and outs. But at long last you were obedient. And I will bless that obedience. I will bless you. I will take you places you have not gone. We will go places you have not been before. You will soar with me, my daughter. We just need to get through a few more of these exercises with you as the little one, and then you will be free to grow up and go.”
‘thank you Father’.
“Don’t champ at the bit Janine, these times are precious. These times when you are little and with me are precious. These are healing times. Do not squirm or run ahead of me. just enjoy being with me and revel in it. You call it wallow in it.’ He laughed, “either way is fine.
There is much that you have to see and much that you have to do. Just spend this time with me without striving to get further down the road than you are. Relax with me, in me and with me and enjoy this time together, this learning time together.’
“Yes Father, thank you.” I got up off his lap and ran over to the opening of the teepee. He just watched me.
“is it alright if I come back and sit in your lap and you brush my hair some more’? I asked.
Jesus said, ‘yes. I know you wanted to go out and play, but I’m glad you chose to come back and have your hair brushed some more. That was wise for a little girl like you.’
‘I see it now Father, play will always be there. I don’t always have this opportunity to sit in your lap and you brush my hair.
Jesus? Is there any food here?’ Jesus asked, laughing, ‘yes, what would you like?’ Then he said, ‘there’s donuts’.
I said, ‘you like tea a lot don’t you’?
He said ‘yes, it’s good for the body and it cleanses the body and the soul’.
‘you mean with the essence power don’t you?’ Jesus said, ‘yes’.
‘I’m sorry Father, I got distracted by the looking up domain names’. Jesus said, ‘that’s all right.’
‘Daddy, what other kind of food is here’?
“what would you like’ he asked. ‘ I would like something special from you’. Waiting. Waiting a while.
‘Jesus? Is there any other food here’?
Jesus said, ‘you can eat the table’. It was a very light green color. And it looked like glass. Round at the part we were at, but then elongating toward where the angels were in the kitchen area. I looked at Jesus and laughed, ‘eat the table’? LOL I was literally laughing out loud in real life on that one. Jesus smiled and said, ‘yes’. I reached out and pulled off a piece of the edge and ate it. It tasted like lime.
Why would a green table taste like lime?
Jesus said, ‘if you take that piece over there in the middle, that purple area, it will taste like grape’. So I did. I reached over and somehow I just picked at the table and a piece of it came up and I put it in my mouth and it was grape. But it wasn’t like any grape I had known before. It was a different grape. It wasn’t so cloyingly sweet, it was what purple tastes like. Purple has a sweet, refreshing, light, satisfying flavor.
I looked around the room, looking for what was there. On the far side there is a fireplace.
Jesus said, ‘I have here what you like. I told you before there are things here that make you feel comfortable. Make you feel at home. It depends on where you are, as to what things are around you. But right now, I want you to feel comfortable with me, here. I want you to have fun Nini. I want you to learn, I want you to remember what you’ve learned’.
There was a long handled spoon leaning against the fireplace. ‘Father, what is that for’? He said, ‘some people use it to stir the pot, some people use it as a pipe to smoke and some people just like there for decoration. What would you use it for Nini?’
‘I don’t know’.
“Think” Jesus said.
‘well, if I got cold I could use it as a log on the fire place to keep me warm. I could carve into the handle if I knew how to carve and make it pretty. I could use the bowl part as a place to hold flowers; if it didn’t burn, I could use it over the fire to heat up soup. I could use it as bowl to eat from. It’s an awfully long handle, I could use it like a sheep herder and poke sheep to get them moving. Is that enough things to think about Jesus’?
‘for now’, he said.
“there’s a glass pot over the fire. Why do you think it’s a glass pot’?
‘so you can see what’s in it? To remind us not to throw stones? Like you said in your Word? I don’t know Jesus, what do you want me to say? What are you trying to make me think of’?
Jesus said, ‘I’m trying to make you think of different ways to do things. You already do, to a large extent. However it goes further than that’.
‘Lord, I’m sorry, but to me you’re talking in riddles. Why don’t you just tell me what it is you want me to think or see’? He said, ‘because then it wouldn’t be your own lesson’.
“Oh God, could you give me a hint’? He said, “I already did. It’s a glass pot over a fire, an open fire. And a long, wooden handled, decorative and useful spoon. Ladle.’
‘Daddy, I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what you want me to think. Glass is see through, if it’s over the fire, it must be strong glass, tempered. It’s a round pot and it holds a lot of stuff. You can see when it boils and what’s in it. It can also be broken. The wooden handle ladle is wood, it cannot easily be broken and it is useful. More useful than the pot is. But it would not withstand the fire that the pot can withstand.’
‘transparency Janine’, he said. ‘you are that pot. I have made you transparent. You can take a lot of heat. People can see into you. They can’t see all the little pits and pieces inside because it’s hidden by other things, but you are a clear, glass, tempered pot. Full of goodness. And you have support. You have supporting members, the wooden ladle, that can do many things.
You can withstand more fire than some of your supporters. You can withstand more fire than some other people. And that is why I created you. To withstand the fire.’
‘God? I don’t get it. I’ll read it tomorrow if that’s okay with you but it sounds pretty ominous to me’.
Jesus said, ‘yes, come back tomorrow. We will read this together and go over it again’.
‘thank you Lord’.
‘Lord! I made tea!’ ‘I see that’, he said. ‘do you ever drink tea’? I asked him.
‘not very often, just once in a while’. He said.
‘I don’t care for the taste of it as much’.
I asked, ‘do you actually drink coffee and tea’?
Jesus replied, ‘I do when I am with my children that need to be in some place that they feel comfortable.’
I was remembering what he told me on the very first vision. That things will be as I’m accustomed to them being on earth. So that I will be comfortable in heaven and then he will take me other places and do other things.
‘Father, I’m sorry I made you wait. He said, ‘that’s ok, I was doing other things. Come on, let’s do something else, let’s not worry about what used to be, let’s get on with the now’.
He took my hand. ‘where are we going Daddy’? ‘I have something special I want to show you today’.
I opened my eyes and my dog is looking around, alert.
Jesus asked me, ‘do you trust me’? ‘yes, I trust you’. Jesus asked, ‘are you sure’? I said, ‘yes’.
I read in a book, [the seer’s path] where Ana was in heaven and Jesus said, never stop partnering with me and asking!
I asked God to reverse the curse on my bones and my life and on my voice. My voice? But that’s what I asked.
I just prayed through my presbytery from 1984. THAT was wild! I’ve never done that before. I need to ask God. With all prayer and supplication.
end of first month